Monday, February 16, 2009

Time to Fess Up

Right!!
we've had a week of slackness, where the chief editor made some lame arsed excuse about being too busy to put a post in........

As a result here are the results of this weeks weigh in

Jimmy the hobbit.. a magnificent effort weighing in at 101Kgs... Outstanding , at last it appears Jimmy's exercise regime is paying dividends .. he is nearly down to his fighting weight of 98 Kgs.. a mere three to go..

Waysell.. is at 71Kgs. a week of night duties has slowed Waysells progress a bit this week, but we have high hopes for this Milton st thoroughbred.. she will be back on the inside track next week..

Carlos the sea cow.. reasonable effort between 100 & 99Kg's depending on how you read the scales.. still a minor loss, but with the temporary acquisition of Mikey's former road bike.. we are expecting an improvement next week.. the seacow was out riding with the hobbit last night, looking for a bit more grazing land up in the northern suburbs.. nearly had to put him out of his misery with the green needle on the hill from chandler Hwy to Kew..

Still awaiting a report from Maloolaba and the Thomasr pit lane crew.

I feel sure the stig will report in with another impressive score soon

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Ellie Leads The Way

video

I'm trying to encourage bulimia BUT
Maybe our contestants could spend a little less time with a spoon in there mouths!!!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Aging Rock Bands

This week the lard arse's have decided to reform that ageing rock band Status Quo.. This was particularly difficult for Trickie, The sea cow and Jimmy the hobit due to their lack of hirsute appearance. Excluding jimmy's back, crack and sack that is (not a personal observation I hasten to add). Nothing a good waxing couldn't fix.

Which leaves Tommy playing Rick (doesn't fit)Parfitt weighing in at 99Kgs with a 0.5kg gain.. and heading back towards the ton..

Waysell on lead guitar playing Francis (i love pasta) Rossi (she is the only one with long enough hair) keeping the status quo at 72Kgs..

Jimmy the Hobbit playing backing instrument's- generally the bottom bugle. Weighing in at 104kgs. He seems to have plateaued very near his starting weight. Also maintaining the status quo.

Tricky and Carlos the seacow playing the yard of ale (more like a mile).. whilst showing an inability to ring the cow bell for last orders, has cost them both a straight line on their graphs.. weighing in at 95kgs and 101kgs respectively once more keeping the status quo. carlos is happy to throw the gauntlet down to the trickster and play his alcohol free week joker. Will the trickster take up the challenge??

And finally we are happy to report a success story.. it's just like the evening news- after the carnage comes the happy tale of Mr smiggins the ginger Tom. Who despite his missing ear, eye and only having three legs is still lucky with the ladies.

AND FINALLY

The stig made contact this week.. after 3 weeks of laying low the stig has reported in an incredible 7kg loss.. he's been out stepping.. trying to get over the 8000 steps per day and this has paid great dividends.. maybe we could get a silhouette profile of the stig to help you monitor his progress.

So for the rest of us it's one less giant step to the fridge and one giant star jump away from it....

Stay posted.. we will be back

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Ok porn-ch stars

People of the paunch.. Its time to check out how much pork has been purged..

First to weigh in with a steady improvement and taking him sub the ton.. which is always a good figure to be under.. Tommy the Elwood Mauler at 99Kgs..

Next up Waysell.. Can she equal the maulers steady start?? Waysell messaged in with a south heading total.. which is the way forward- an impressive 2Kgs loss. Edging even closer to the birthday goal of 67Kgs at a new streamlined 73 Kgs.. well done waysell the highest percentage looser this week. you win a trip to Mac Donalds and a 6 pack of beer..

Carlos the old "seacow" was next up, showing a improvement of 2Kgs a good effort at removing some of the Yuletide turkey.. He's just about seen the parsons nose off with that one.. weighing in at 103Kgs.. The seacow has vowed a higher temperance level this week.. and is "talking up" a bigger improvement next week.. to assist in attaining his end of March interim target of 92Kgs..

Jimmy "the hobbit" has posted steady.. remaining at 105kgs.. despite his last ditched desperate attempt to purge some paunch.. he even washed his feet to help decrease the dough. And has vowed more SUP action down to middle park this week..

The Elwood Stig (soon to be the Elwood stick) has decided scientifically that if he does enough exercise he will loose weight.. with this in mind he will be reporting his steps
And finally Maloolaba's man of magic.. keeping it honest and trying to close the gap by gaining 1Kg to sneak in at 97kgs what a sporting chap he is.. a true team player

Sunday, January 11, 2009

And your contestants are

So here we go Monday 12th Jan 09...

In the blue corner Tricky Dicky all the way from moloolaba sunshine coast weighing in at 96kgs heading for his cycling fit 87 kgs

Thomas R the "Elwood Mauler" renowned for wrestling car thieves and other nare do wells, weighing in at a even 100Kgs target 87 Kgs

Jimmy "The Hobbit" Foster weighing in at 105Kgs looking at achieving a 7kg loss to get to a fighting weight of 98Kgs

Carlos "sea cow" Vickers weighing in at 105 Kgs ideal fighting weight 85 Kgs (no point aiming low and missing)

Well done "Waysell" for braving the wrath and scorn of your peers.. coming back from a recent bout with pregnancy, where she beat the young contender Harry the Miester , boxing out of the same stable as the "Elwood Mauler" Weighing in at 75ykgs with a target of 67 kgs by the next birthday??

And finally.. we have the Elwood Stig... man of mystery.. who is this lone man of the paunch the crowd ask.. weighing in at kgs.. will the the crowd ever be able to unmask this man who hides in the shadows.. who is he they ask?? but only once his target weight has been reached will his true identity be revealed

Weigh-in's will posted every Monday and hopefully I will work out a way display a graph of everyone's progress.

I suggest telling as many people as possible of this website to make the idea of public ridicule and derision to much to handle..

Eyes down for your first week of salad, celery and temperance . ( the later is already looking Pie in the sky)